he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
