I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?