Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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  (616): I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one... http://tfl.nu/uf1v
  Replies (16) Good night (793) Bad night (5291)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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  (908): Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time. http://tfl.nu/kf31
  Replies (11) Good night (994) Bad night (4460)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (6063) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.

  (315): View more from New York

  You would pick up a guy in AA.

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  (443): He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me. (315): You would pick up a guy in AA. http://tfl.nu/v9fc
  Replies (12) Good night (3894) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.

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  (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real. http://tfl.nu/3nu3
  Replies (32) Good night (2458) Bad night (6637)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out

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  (585): I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out http://tfl.nu/5zzk
  Replies (1) Good night (1688) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.

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  (313): Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career. http://tfl.nu/jur5
  Replies (18) Good night (749) Bad night (2569)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  peace be with you.

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  (860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop
  Replies (3) Good night (2260) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.

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  (614): Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it. http://tfl.nu/r304
  Replies (4) Good night (2199) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake

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  (916): I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake http://tfl.nu/x3na
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing

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  (518): The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing http://tfl.nu/1ex1
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn

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  (603): This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn http://tfl.nu/xvco
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

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  (908): I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work. http://tfl.nu/8nqq
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.

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  (334): Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him. http://tfl.nu/wkpb
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out

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  (718): This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out http://tfl.nu/nzmu
  Replies (6) Good night (297) Bad night (485)

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