he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle