im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
