If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
