Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

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  (805): we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend http://tfl.nu/2gsx
  Replies (75) Good night (3340) Bad night (10162)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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  (908): how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots http://tfl.nu/lfl0
  Replies (17) Good night (5020) Bad night (1512)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

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  (404): She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more. http://tfl.nu/sgvu
  Replies (12) Good night (4868) Bad night (1423)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

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  (631): I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude http://tfl.nu/oumf
  Replies (12) Good night (1743) Bad night (3516)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions

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  (972): The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions http://tfl.nu/nm0a
  Replies (8) Good night (1614) Bad night (2694)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.

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  (502): I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day. http://tfl.nu/53ab
  Replies (5) Good night (2218) Bad night (878)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even

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  (317): Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night... (317): Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even http://tfl.nu/pe86
  Replies (7) Good night (2823) Bad night (747)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet

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  (812): He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet http://tfl.nu/4ir7
  Replies (7) Good night (2593) Bad night (798)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...

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  (615): He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing... http://tfl.nu/wirp
  Replies (13) Good night (534) Bad night (2053)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I rest my case.

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  (720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi
  Replies (10) Good night (2201) Bad night (576)
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  (530): View more from California

  Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me

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  (530): Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me http://tfl.nu/x3r5
  Replies (0) Good night (1169) Bad night (348)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her

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  (312): This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her http://tfl.nu/f7pk
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (632)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.

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  (+61): He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it. http://tfl.nu/rrnk
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (306)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  To be fair I was thirsty

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"

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  (780): You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar (1-780): To be fair I was thirsty (780): When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!" http://tfl.nu/ztbw
  Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (358)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump

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  (585): Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump http://tfl.nu/n5lk
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (327)

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