who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone