Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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  (214): Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on http://tfl.nu/x4zw
  Replies (11) Good night (1034) Bad night (1113)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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  (902): Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/sk8g
  Replies (33) Good night (546) Bad night (2823)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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  (509): im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating. http://tfl.nu/g1sz
  Replies (16) Good night (3919) Bad night (947)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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  (412): do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister? http://tfl.nu/on91
  Replies (50) Good night (3408) Bad night (836)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's make jello shots for tomorrow

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What's going on tomorrow?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nothing, it's Wednesday

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  (913): Let's make jello shots for tomorrow (1-913): What's going on tomorrow? (913): Nothing, it's Wednesday http://tfl.nu/pnp1
  Replies (29) Good night (10936) Bad night (1120)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year

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  (248): ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year http://tfl.nu/bdbv
  Replies (9) Good night (6139) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky

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  (978): sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky http://tfl.nu/aofd
  Replies (17) Good night (4657) Bad night (1181)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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  (503): I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!? http://tfl.nu/h2a2
  Replies (9) Good night (3357) Bad night (749)
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  (646): View more from New York

  congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism

  (917): View more from New York City

  cool. same. I'm in class drinking

  (646): View more from New York

  NOT OKAY

  (917): View more from New York City

  sorry for partying

  (646): View more from New York

  THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS

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  (646): congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism (917): cool. same. I'm in class drinking (646): NOT OKAY (917): sorry for partying (646): THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/g2oy
  Replies (10) Good night (2646) Bad night (963)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.

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  (305): It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you. http://tfl.nu/cw12
  Replies (26) Good night (5615) Bad night (1026)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

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  (412): It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep http://tfl.nu/wopt
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (675)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.

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  (856): Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox. http://tfl.nu/almc
  Replies (18) Good night (2028) Bad night (719)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.

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  (410): well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you. http://tfl.nu/1rtw
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (340)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?

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  (253): Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand? http://tfl.nu/rm7i
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (269)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.

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  (+44): There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok. http://tfl.nu/5g3s
  Replies (0) Good night (340) Bad night (401)

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