I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
