started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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