he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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