I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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