and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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