Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
