YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
