I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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