my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
