There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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