wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
