I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
