I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we're so committed to being not committed
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
