Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
