No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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