i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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