You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
someone owes me an orgasm
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The uberlube is also flammable
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
