who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
