I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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