so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
