I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
