I think I won the penis lottery.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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