Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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