Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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