Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
be right there i have to get my cape
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
