just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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