woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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