Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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