apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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