This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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