The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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