sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
