no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
