I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
