Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize