you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
