I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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