Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
