lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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I got inside last night via doggy door
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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