I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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