): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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