I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
