i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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