Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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