ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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