I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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