you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
