Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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