I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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