So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
