Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
