so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
