Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
