i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
