We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
