Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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